GET REAL: Love, Wisdom and Warning (Week 3)

Preacher: Daniel Erasmus

Worship:
Meditate on the song “Fall like rain” by Passion. Pray back to God what stands out for you from the lyrics of this song.

Check-in:
As part of your check-in, reflect on the action points you committed to last week to help grow in Christlikeness, as you seek to become the “right person”.

Synopsis of message (For Reflection in Preparation):
During Sunday’s message we heard about the contrast between being wise and unwise. A wise person typically; when faced with danger, will try to avoid it. An unwise person is oblivious to warning signs and walks into danger which results in trouble. Proverbs 27:12 was the foundation for this message.

As we seek to faithfully follow Jesus and live as radically resilient disciples, we need to be aware of red flags in our relationships. These are the warning signs that indicate we may be dating the “wrong” person:

1. Spiritual Mismatch: When your partner doesn’t consistently pursue Christ, is a red flag. If they rarely mention Jesus, God, their faith, or church involvement, consider this a warning. What people value most, often comes up in conversation. (2 Corinthians 6:14-15 and Amos 3:3) Don’t give them your heart, if God doesn’t have theirs.
2. Trusted Voices Disagree: If loved ones disapprove of your partner, take it seriously – this is a clear red flag. Concerns from your community of believers should not be ignored. (Proverbs 27:9)
3. Fights Get Messy: Conflict is inevitable, but how you handle it matters. Fighting in relationships is unavoidable but how you fight is what matters. Frequent fights and break-ups are concerning, while no fighting may indicate avoidance. Healthy conflict, with spiritual maturity, can benefit your relationship. (James 1:19-20)
4. Trust Issues on Repeat: Struggling to trust your partner is a red flag. One of the characteristics of love is trust. If you’re unable to trust your partner, it indicates untrustworthiness or perhaps that you’re not trusting. Both of these are red flags not to be ignored. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
5. Spiritual Drift: If your partner distracts you from Jesus rather than guiding you towards Him, it’s time to reflect. You may not be as spiritually vibrant as you were before your relationship started. Assess your spiritual health regularly and be careful of compromising your values or rationalising sin.

These warning signs can also be applied to friendships you have.

Discussion questions:

1. Have you ever been alerted to any one of the 5 red flags in a previous or current relationship or friendship? How have you responded to this?
2. In which ways can we as a group support each other to ensure we remain faithful in following Jesus in our relationships/friendships?
3. What specific steps can you take this week to ensure that your relationships align with your spiritual values and goals?

Additional resources:

• Red Flags in a Relationships by YouVersion
• Red Flags by YouVersion
• Why Wait by YouVersion