GET REAL: Three essentials before saying “I do” (Week 2)

Preacher: Daniel Erasmus

Worship:
Listen to As you find me – Hillsong UNITED and reflect on the lyrics which remind us that God’s grace accepts us as he finds us, but his love is too good to leave us as we are.

Check-in:
In what ways have you been more intentional in honouring God in your relationships this week?

Synopsis of message (For Reflection in Preparation):
Being married is not our primary purpose in life. In fact our ultimate purpose in life is to live with undivided devotion to Jesus. In a world that says we need to find the right person, as Christians we should focus on becoming the right person. With God’s help, Ps Daniel encouraged us that we can do so in three ways:

1. Be rooted and secure in Christ
   We are not incomplete until we get married, the apostle Paul reminds us that Christ alone completes us. (Colossians 2:9-10) Christ alone makes us whole. Our fulfilment and security is not found in a relationship but when we are rooted in Jesus.
2. Be strong in character
   If you want to marry someone with character, you need to develop a strong character. Paul highlights five traits in 1 Timothy 4:12: “Set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” Who we are today impacts the people that we are around and that builds the foundation of our futures.
3. Be rooted and planted in community
   Community matters more than we sometimes may think! We need to surround ourselves with a community of Godly influence. When we are planted in a community, it provides us with support and accountability; it offers us encouragement and strength when we need it and it helps us to grow spiritually. (Hebrews 10:24-25)
   
   This applies not only to those single and dating but also to marriages.

Discussion questions:

1. In what way could seeking fulfilment in a potential partner / your actual partner or spouse, shift your focus from being rooted in Christ?
2. Which aspects of your relationship with Christ, if more developed, could lead to you becoming more rooted in Him?
3. Timothy was encouraged by Paul to set an example in a number of areas. As you consider five traits in 1 Timothy 4:12 (word, behaviour, love, faith, purity), where do you think you are most like Christ (and becoming the “right person”)? Which area requires most growth so you become more like Christ, and the “right person”? What practical steps can you take this week to do this?
4. How has being part of a Christian community impacted your life and current relationships? Are there aspects of community you wish to deepen?

Additional resources:

• What God Thinks about Your Dating – YouVersion
• Why Am I Single? – YouVersion
• Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud – RightNow Media

The Marriage Course – Starts the 30th September, in-person at church. Sign-up here.